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I’m Cristina Royale.

My raison d’etre is to bring about social equality. For women (such as myself), that means being empowered and empowering other women. There are so many aspects of our lives in which we can practice this, but I choose to focus on our sexuality, because it is a particular passion of mine.

Men have been objectifying us for thousands of years. So why are we so late to the party?

I enjoy sex (a lot), and I think you should too. I respect myself (a lot), and I think you should too. I would like to show you what this looks like for me. I will not embellish nor exclude any significant details, no matter how private social norms say they should be.

It is time for women to step into the light, and start living every day exactly the way we desire. We no longer have to live under the thumb of a man. Nor do we have to live in his shadow. We will only live under the weight of his scrutiny so long as we allow ourselves to.

Our self-worth is in no way determined by the opinions of men (or anyone else, for that matter), but by our own opinions of ourselves. No longer will our bodies be subjected to scrutiny, without scrutiny in return. No longer will a man with a child-sized penis feel that he has any ground to stand on when making disparaging remarks about a woman’s body. Fuck him and his little penis. We are strong, and we are worthy.

Mexican Vacation Penis (The Vacation was Mexican, the Penis wasn’t)

When will I learn to stop sleeping with Africans? It (very, very) rarely goes well for me. While vacationing in Baja, I found this very handsome Nigerian who was a 22-year-old college soccer player. His body and his dick were perfect! He was tall, dark, and strong....

Officer Friendly

The night couldn't have gone any better. However, I think he may have killed someone... not on the “date,” but earlier in the week. Thanks for voting for a Washington D.C. hookup! You guys picked a great one (Number 1)! And I appreciate those of you who expressed...

Guy with Herpes

I hated him immediately. And that before the whole herpes thing... He managed to go from zero to asshat in under 3 seconds. Making me hate him so quickly was actually quite an accomplishment since he was willing to help me carry a hot water heater (150 lbs) up my...

Power Lifter

I put it to the vote, and you all (narrowly) chose number 1. And what a great choice that was! It went so well that I'm afraid the story won't be very entertaining. But I will try! Here goes: He was insanely ripped! He was a 23-year-old security guard and amateur...

Pecs or Man-Boobs?

Disclaimer: This entry makes me feel like an asshole (probably because I am one)... but I wrote it anyway. You're welcome. I should add that straight men have been shaming women about their bodies for thousands of years.. and most still do it everyday. So fuck them....

Budapest Hookup

Thank you! I appreciate everyone voting! People voted for the Cuban... and I tried so hard! Long story short... I may have yelled at him and called him homophobic... And he blocked me. So I jumped back on tinder to find a suitable replacement penis, which was not easy...

Washington DC Hookup 9/2016

OMG thank you all for voting! You guys picked a really good one (on my @objectifyingmen fb page)! It went really well! Especially considering I did everything I could to give zero fucks.. such as eating the world's largest burrito beforehand. I also hadn't (and still...

NBA Summer League

This is the first MBA player I have slept with this year. Probably. And really, I don't follow sports... so he could actually be just a random 6'7" guy who has a great body and claims to be in the NBA... Doesn't matter. My vagina doesn't know the difference. It...

Teenager with the Man-Sized Penis

"So am I in your top 5?" he asked. Um... thanks everyone for voting (on my @objectifyingmen fb page)! You helped me break a tie (and rob a cradle)! Background: I was between fucking a 19-year-old NCAA football player and a 24-year-old Air Force guy. The teenager had...

Referred Cocks Don’t Always Work Out

Referred cocks don't always work out... but neither do the regulars or the bar hookups or the tindered hookups... because, let's face it, many of them couldn't fuck their way out of a paper bag. Or (like this case) they could, but the level of crazy that they are...